A new Vanity Fair feature published on Tuesday gathered a group of crypto billionaires alongside Polychain Capital’s Olaf Carlson-Wee at a luxury Manhattan hotel.

Michael Novogratz showed up hungover from a 4 a.m. trip to a Burning Man-themed nightclub wearing a full-length silver puffer jacket.

Danny Ryan, who runs a company trying to bring Wall Street onto the blockchain, wore pants with a hole in the crotch and went barefoot.

Meltem Demirors arrived layered a diamond cross, a leopard print coat, and a black sweatsuit with “Believe in Something” bedazzled across her rear.

Cathie Wood, the ARK Invest CEO, sat for her portrait in a dark cardigan, black trousers, and a single gold brooch, in sharp contrast to the others.

They are collectively billions poorer on paper.

The total crypto market cap has shed roughly $1.4 trillion since its December 2024 peak, and Bitcoin (CRYPTO: BTC) is trading near $73,700, about half its all-time high.

Demirors had her own take on the investors who sold: “They’re all p****es.”

The Market Doesn’t Care About Your Valentino

Galaxy Digital (NASDAQ:GLXY), Novogratz’s firm, reported a wider-than-expected Q4 loss as trading volumes dropped roughly 40% quarter over quarter, and Coinbase (NASDAQ:COIN), one of ARK Invest’s largest holdings, is trading more than 50% down from its highs.

None of this has shaken the faith.

Wood recently lowered her 2030 Bitcoin target from $1.5 million but insists her conviction has actually increased.

Demirors says she’s buying Bitcoin for the first time in years.

Carlson-Wee, who told the magazine he never follows the news, says he’s accumulating Bitcoin.

Novogratz told Anthony Scaramucci in December that investors “don’t need to get bullish until we break $100,000.” Ethereum

Ethereum (CRYPTO: ETH) has dropped roughly 60% from its highs, and a Polymarket contract gives it just a 37% chance of touching $4,000 again this year.

Demirors had this to say about the suffering crypto: “Ethereum people hate nice things and having fun. They want you to eat tofu and wear organic cotton only and suffer.”

They Didn’t Just Buy The Dip, They Bought Washington

The crypto industry poured $135 million into the 2024 elections, mostly backing Republican candidates, and won more than 90% of the races it funded.

The returns have been considerable.

President Donald Trump, who called Bitcoin a scam in 2021, has been pushing through crypto friendly legislation. He pardoned convicted crypto executives Arthur Hayes and Changpeng Zhao.

SEC charges against Ryan, who was served papers on Easter Sunday 2024, simply evaporated once the political winds shifted.

“What happened? It was politics,” Ryan, the barefoot Etherealize co-founder, told the magazine.

Prediction Markets Are Not Buying The Faith

On Polymarket’s “What price will Bitcoin hit in 2026?” contract, which has drawn over $25 million in volume, traders give BTC just a 23% chance of reclaiming $120,000 by year-end.

The downside bets may be more telling. Bettors price a 56% chance Bitcoin drops below $55,000 before January 2027.

Novogratz said last month that crypto’s “age of speculation” is ending. Polymarket bettors appear to agree.

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